My first marriage was a disaster. There were a few people that warned me but the reality is I wasn’t really listening. I was affected by fear and a lack of faith. There was fear that I wouldn’t find anybody else. I just expected God to fix all the problems. Isn’t that having faith? Regrettably, it isn’t.
I would never have started divorce proceedings but when my first wife left me to marry someone else, sadly I was relieved. I resigned my job as a pastor and then struggled to find other work. It was a huge mess.
This is not surprising. When we make decisions out of fear, or a lack of faith, it will almost certainly lead to a big mess. We see this in the lives of Abraham and Sarah. In Genesis 16:1-4 we read about Sarah’s (and Abraham’s) lack of faith resulting in Sarah giving Abraham her maid so that she could have a son through the maid.
The plan worked to some extent. Abraham had a child, Ishmael. However this wasn’t the way God was going to bring Sarah and Abraham a child. Ishmael became the cause of a huge mess, which still has repercussions today.
This makes me wonder whether I’m still making decisions out of a lack of faith today. When am I making decisions out of fear? When am I making decisions where I just expect God to sort out the mess I make? Am I really waiting for God’s time and God’s way to do things?